Why Didn't President Obama Send Senior Citizens

I don't like the idea that President Obama didn't let any senior citizens go on that raid. We got suped-up scooters that can blister up to 20 miles per hour. And some seniors in the South can spit chewing tobacco ten feet in a straight line which could've blinded at least one of bin laden's body guards.

Oh yeah, AARP is going to hear about this.