Don't Get Laid Off (Part 5)

It's Friday. Stay alert! Don't get laid off.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to chop $4.7 million from the fiscal 2012 budget and lay off a hundred workers at the New York Bronx Zoo. If you’re a zookeeper, working with the monkeys and gorillas, don’t wait until 2012. Start feeding them steroids right now. Check with Barry Bonds’ manager for the good stuff. Mayor Bloomberg might not listen to you. But he’ll damn sure listen to King Kong.

What's So Intoxicating About Power?

Okay, you're sitting there like a frog on a log asking for mercy when you could've transferred a couple million to a Swiss account, slipped out of town at midnight and called it a day.

After a decade in office, Former Ivory Coast President Gbagbo refused to give up power after he lost the election. Let's not bring up the national rule which states you can only hold office five years. Now he's been arrested and will probably be executed. What's so intoxicating about power?

Don't Get Laid Off (Part 4)

It's Friday. Stay alert! Don't get laid off.

Houston’s Mayor and City Council have announced the layoff of 238 firefighters in 45 days. Laying off firefighters? Unbelievable.  If they go through with the vote, the least they could do is come by the fire station to thank little Sparky for his many years of dedicated service as fire engine mascot.

When they get inside, let them know because of budget cuts, you had to get rid of little Sparky and bring in two temps. Lock the door behind you so the group can get better acquainted.

More funny stuff, go here: http://www.groganbooks.com/gundownonlyEX.html

Blog: Leander Jackie Grogan: Don't Get Laid Off (Part 3)

Blog: Leander Jackie Grogan: Don't Get Laid Off (Part 3): "It's Friday. Stay alert! Don't get laid off. If you work for LOWE'S, word is they've already started a program to lay off 1700 store manage..."

Don't Get Laid Off (Part 3)

It's Friday. Stay alert! Don't get laid off.
If you work for LOWE'S, word is they've already started a program to lay off 1700 store managers nationwide. If you're a manager, you have the authority to demote yourself. Take a big blue marks-a-lots and write Assistant on your badge. Then get on one of those forklifts and lift yourself to the top shelf behind the lumber. Try to get the keg of Miller Lite up there first.

Don't come out until Monday.

Don't Get Laid Off (Part 2)

It’s Friday. Stay alert. Don't get laid off.
Rumor has it Best Buy had started laying off members of the Geek Squad. If you're already driving around in one of those little bugs, don't go back to the store. Head straight for the Mexican border. You can sell that bug without a title there and have a belly full of tequila and tacos before they pick you up.

Why Didn't President Obama Send Senior Citizens

I don't like the idea that President Obama didn't let any senior citizens go on that raid. We got suped-up scooters that can blister up to 20 miles per hour. And some seniors in the South can spit chewing tobacco ten feet in a straight line which could've blinded at least one of bin laden's body guards.

Oh yeah, AARP is going to hear about this.